Tips for Advising Teenagers

By Dr. Abdul Wadud Nafis, LC., MEI

Adolescence is a phase full of turmoil, where children begin to question values, search for identity, and challenge boundaries. On one hand, they desire independence, but on the other hand, they still need guidance. This is where the main challenge for parents lies—to be both a friend and a guide full of understanding.

Raising teenagers is not just about directing their steps but also helping them recognize their potential and meaningful life values. Through wise advice, patience, and empathetic communication, parents can help them grow into confident and wise individuals.

Here are some tips for advising teenagers that can help create a positive relationship and build trust, preparing them to face the future with confidence.

Advising teenagers can be a challenge because they are often in a phase of self-discovery and independence. Here are some tips to advise them effectively:

1. Listen with Empathy

Before giving advice, listen to their point of view attentively. This way, they feel valued and are more open to listening.

2. Choose the Right Time

Avoid advising when they are angry or stressed. Choose a time when they are more relaxed and comfortable to talk.

3. Use Positive Language

Try to use constructive, positive sentences rather than judging or criticizing. Emphasize your belief that they can change and grow better.

4. Provide Real-life Examples

Explain your advice through experiences or stories that are relevant to their lives. Teenagers are more likely to accept advice when they can see examples in the real world.

5. Involve Them in Discussion

Instead of just telling them what they should do, invite them to discuss and find solutions together. This helps them feel valued and involved.

6. Avoid Long Lectures

Teenagers tend to lose interest if you go on too long with advice. Keep your advice brief, concise, and clear.

7. Show Support and Affection

Make sure your teenager feels loved and supported, even when they make mistakes. Parental warmth and attention make them more open to receiving feedback.

8. Don’t Forget to Give Praise

When they do well or show improvement, praise them to reinforce their positive behavior. This also helps build their self-confidence.

9. Give Freedom with Boundaries

Teenagers need space to experiment but within boundaries. Give them responsibilities, but still monitor and guide them so they don’t exceed the limits you set.

10. Don’t Force Your Will

Forcing them can make them more rebellious. Instead, involve them in understanding the reasons behind the advice you give. If they understand, they are more likely to follow it.

Conclusion

Advising teenagers requires patience, wise approach, and consistency.

Advising teenagers is not an easy task, but with a patient, empathetic, and appreciative approach, a strong and trusting relationship can be built. Remember, they are growing individuals, full of aspirations and hopes, but also anxiety and doubts. Be someone who is always present, listens, and understands. By offering wise guidance and unconditional love, you help them find their identity and live life more wisely. In the future, they will thank you for every piece of advice you gave with love.

References

1. Santrock, J. W. (2014). Adolescence (15th ed.). McGraw-Hill Education.

2. Berk, L. E. (2018). Development Through the Lifespan (7th ed.). Pearson.

3. Damon, W., & Lerner, R. M. (2006). Handbook of Child Psychology: Child and Adolescent Development. John Wiley & Sons.

4. Gunarsa, S. D. (2007). Psikologi Remaja. PT BPK Gunung Mulia.

5. Papalia, D. E., & Martorell, G. (2015). Experience Human Development (13th ed.). McGraw-Hill Education.

6. Kurniawan, A. (2020). Membangun Komunikasi Efektif dengan Remaja. Jakarta: PT Gramedia.

7. Purnamasari, R. (2019). Pendekatan Empati dalam Mendidik Anak Remaja. Yogyakarta: Pustaka Pelajar.